‘Prince Andrew’s TV interview was like a motorway pile up’ says Dawn Neesom

It was International Men’s Day yesterday. A time to focus on male role models and improving gender relations.

Which made it the perfect day to re-watch Prince Andrew’s motorway pile-up of a TV interview. Because when it comes to helping women feel comfortable around the opposite sex this bloke doesn’t even break into a sweat.

No seriously he doesn’t. Which, as a defence for hanging around with convicted paedophile and child sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein, is just so mad it might actually be true.

Evidently the Queen’s favourite son was so traumatised while serving in the Navy during the Falklands war that his body doesn’t produce perspiration.

Or it didn’t when he was accused of sweaty dirty dancing and having sex with a 17 Epstein ‘sex slave’ Virginia Giuffre in 2001.

Didn’t happen according to Randy Andy in his telly skewering by the excellent Emily Maitlis. Well, more accurately, he couldn’t remember.

Though he did have amazing recall of a trip to Pizza Express in Woking on the same day. As you do. Well as you do if you look as much like a dough ball as this pasty, shifty, entitled, spoilt and arrogant useless lump.

It’s long been accepted that Andrew isn’t the sharpest tool in the Royal Box. Tool yes. Sharp no.

Which is probably why Her Maj has a soft spot for him. Corgis, horses and sons – our Liz loves a dumb animal. So much in Andy’s case she bungs him a cool quarter of a million a year. Nice pocket money if you can get it.

Not easy to feel sorry for a privileged multi millionaire but even the hardest hearted republican must be feeling a twinge for the Queen.

She evidently gave permission for Andrew to talk to BBC’s Newsnight whereas she should have told him to put up and shut up which has been her motto for decades.

The boy blunder himself reckons he did a superb job and that’s the end of the whole scandal. Er, nice try. This week charities and backers are pulling the plug on him. The FBI have redoubled their efforts to interview him. And more dirt digging has revealed he regularly uses the ’N’ word. And I don’t mean nonce.

Then there’s victim Virginia’s bombshell that she’s filmed a Panorama interview revealing more about the three times she was allegedly ‘forced’ to have sex with the Prince.

Incredibly in an hour of talking incredulous guff – staying with Epstein in his New York mansion for six days because it was ‘convenient’ when Manhattan has more hotels per square foot than anywhere on earth – Andrew didn’t one manage to show any remorse or compassion for Epstein’s many victims. Some of whom were just 13 years old and encouraged to have orgies with middle aged men.

It was all about him. And even then, rather than coming clean and describing himself as an utter dick for continuing to hang out with a child sex abuser, he simply described his actions as ‘unbecoming’.

His attitude says everything about the lifestyle he as lived all his pampered life. He probably genuinely thinks his behaviour – dubious as best – is okay because he’s Prince Andrew a WAR HERO don’t you know. And I’m damn sure he feels what he does is none of us plebs business.

Whatever Prince Plonker does next he’s finished. There’s no way back from this one which makes his daughter’s forthcoming wedding an interesting proposition.

Interestingly yesterday was also World Toilet Day. Which is probably a more apt way to mark the Queen’s very own anus horribilis (or Andrew as she calls him).

Because no matter how much he tries to flush this unholy mess away that awful stench is going to hang around for a very long time.

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